Episode 54: Celebrating Singapore: Revenge with a Purpose: Author Hidayah Amin’s Story

Rachel: [00:00:00] Hello. And welcome back to this episode of truly expat podcast. , just a little note., before we get started with our fabulous guests today, this is going to be a two-part story. So, we were just fascinated with Hidayah's stories and. They are charming as they are interesting. And,, from a historical point of view, if you want to know a bit more about Singapore, you'll love this podcast. 

Rachel: So stay tuned. . I'm Rachel and my co-host Paula is with me today and we are joined by Hidayah Amin. She's also known as CheekyDa. Award-winning author Hidayah I was born in Gedung Kuning the yellow mansion in Singapore. 

Rachel: If you know a little bit about Singapore, this is in the area called Kampong Gelam. She was inspired by her mother to document family stories, has written 10 nonfiction books, and 10 children's fiction books, which many highlight Malay history, [00:01:00] heritage and culture. When no publisher accepted her first book. 

Rachel: Gedung Kuning memories of a Malay childhood. She founded her own publishing house. And it's called. Heylang books and today's episode, we'll explore Hidayah's journey as an author and her passion for preserving Malay culture in Singapore. Thank you so much for joining us.

Hidayah: you for inviting me.

Rachel: It's lovely to have you. . We're like near somebody famous. Oh

Hidayah: No, 

Hidayah: not, not as famous as I would like to think.

Paula: So let's, let's get started. Let's find out exactly, um, where it, how it all began.

Hidayah: Um,

Hidayah: I didn't have any, ambition to, write.

Hidayah: In fact, it wasn't like one of like goals to achieve in life. So, uh, so normally, you know, so I grew, I was born in Gedung Kuning or [00:02:00] the yellow mansion in Kampong Glam. Uh, it's in the heart of, uh, it's quite near the central business district. I mean, for those of you who, who do not know how Singapore is located.

Hidayah: So we, uh, actually, uh, In the, like, southern part, southern central part, and that was, Kampong Gelam was the, is the historic quarter, and it used to be the Muslim quarter of So, I was born, uh, in this yellow mansion, called Gedung Kuning, Because of the yellow walls and of course growing up in Singapore,

Hidayah: you know, normally I don't pay attention culture and tradition.

Hidayah: It's just you take it for granted that. Okay, so I'm Malay. Okay, I live in Singapore. That's it, so there are people who ask, Oh, uh, like, are you royalty? Because the house used to be part of the Istana Kampong Glam or the [00:03:00]Malay Royal Palace. Yeah, it's just, uh, just adjacent. So Istana Kampong Glam is now the Malay Heritage Centre.

Hidayah: So if you're in Singapore, you're around the area, there's amuseum.

Hidayah: You know, you can go to and explore the very Queen neighborhood. So it used to be part of the palace and it became private property in 1907.

Hidayah: And

Hidayah: my great grandfather called Haji Yusuf. He bought the house in 1912.

Paula: Wow.

Hidayah: we've been living there ever since.

Hidayah: So four generations lived there until 1912. 1999 when the government, uh, took the house by Land Acquisition Act. So we had to

Paula: kidding. Yeah.

Rachel: Wow.

Rachel: Yeah, 

Hidayah: I know it was very sad.

Paula: Oh, I mean, it's been, you know, genera like, generations. Generations 

Hidayah: 1912. That's like years, years ago, like a hundred years 

Rachel: Yeah. So they

Rachel: They didn't buy it [00:04:00] off you. Uh,

Hidayah: so, so in Singapore, uh, we have this law, uh, about, uh, that the government can acquire any land.

Hidayah: even the

Hidayah: land, you know, the land where Gerong Kuning, uh, is set is actually freehold and it belongs to the family. And, you know, we own the land and the house, but, uh, so the government knew that we were never gonna sell.

Hidayah: So they used the law, which is the Land Acquisition Act. And hence, You You know, you have no choice but

Hidayah: to,

Hidayah: yeah, to allow the government to acquire the land for national development. It's like for the good of Singapore, whatever. And they compensated us very, very little, but it's not so much of, you know, uh, the money, the compensation is, is this history, the memories and the fact that Your family lived there for, for four generations.

Hidayah: So there were a lot of, uh, you know, [00:05:00] traditions again, uh, cultures. And so when the house was taken from us, so I felt very lost. So I, I was like, okay. So then I began to, to kind of like,

Hidayah: And then because there's this sense of loss and longing and hurt and anger and everything roll in one. So then I decided to kind of like document the stories.

Hidayah: So that's how the journey started. I think when I was growing up. And I thought, uh, my grandmother would tell me stories and you know, even with today's kids, right? Oh, why are you telling all this old, old tales? I don't know. I don't want to hear, you know, so my grandmother will tell stories that I thought were like, why are you telling me this?

Hidayah: I'm not interested to know about what your father did in the 1800. Like it doesn't, it didn't, it didn't interest me. But I think when, you know, uh, I was faced with this major [00:06:00] setback and like I lost a big part of my childhood, then I kind of thought, okay, maybe I should learn about myself about the family history and all so so that was how the journey started, not, uh, it, it's, it was because of circumstances that, uh, made me on this journey, this writing 

Paula: you write down, journalise 

Hidayah: Um, during that time, no, but I kind of, I listened, I was forced to listen, right, because she, I mean, I lived with her.

Hidayah: So she would like tell me all these stories. And I also appreciated the fact that, uh, they spoke to me in Malay. So, I, you know, I, I'm glad that I'm, I'm able to, kind of understand and speak it well. So she would tell me all these stories. I'm like, okay, But, but I kind of, I remember, I remember.

Hidayah: But so there was no, no [00:07:00] journaling them because again, uh, you know, when you were growing up, you don't care about this. There's other important people, things that you care about. Right. Uh, but when the, when the government took the house and I, I felt that I needed to, to kind of find myself back. And then I started to actually journal, like, write whatever that's, you know, I could Yeah. So there was no intention actually to, to write a So it was just, you know, I just wanted to, recover, to, to heal, to from this loss, you know, to find my, Way back, like to, to, okay, so we have this family. So what about my great grandfather, you know, you know, what did he do? You know, what did Why is this house so important? Why, how did he manage to buy this big house? And he was just, uh, I mean, a normal, ordinary person, you know, we are not like royalty or [00:08:00] anybody of, of certain stature. And so I, I kind of like decided To rediscover my roots. So there wasn't any intention again. It was just for me to rediscover my roots.

Hidayah: So, uh, my, it was my mother and she, she said this in Malay, uh, which meant, Oh, if you don't write your stories, someone else will I 

Paula: know.

Rachel: That's deep. That's good.

Hidayah: It's a very deep anyway. She said that it sounded better in Malay. So

Rachel: So

Paula: I'm

Hidayah: like, what, you know, suddenly she will say this. I'm like. Okay. So I asked her, so do you want me to write?

Hidayah: I mean, so no, I'm just saying, you know, like, yeah, if you, if none of us are gonna like document this, so somebody else will write and it may be wrong.

Paula: Yeah,

Hidayah: then again, who are you to blame because you don't want to write. So then I kind of took it upon myself to, to kind of start, to start documenting it.

Hidayah: And yeah, [00:09:00] that, that was. It was never to, uh, to like go and become an author and sell. And I know you can't make money as an author, but you know, uh, I, I just wanted to tell my story to everybody

Paula: because it's such a unique story.

Paula: Like it's not like My story where, you know, you're an expat and blah, blah, blah. Your story is so that it needs Do you know what I mean? And because it's gone, like that part of history is gone, it needs to So, I mean, what a fascinating beginning. Because most people say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I always wanted to be an author.

Paula: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've always liked writing. But what a fascinating way to begin.

Rachel: Yeah, definitely. What, um, is there a particular book that you've written that is really close to your heart? 

Hidayah: Um,

Hidayah: Actually, all of them are very close to my heart because I think, [00:10:00] uh, if I may quote Hemingway, like I write to express, not to impress. So if you look at the books, the range of books that I write, they're not, uh, they're not the sort that, Oh.

Hidayah: very populist, like, okay, you know, it's very trendy. So it has a lot of, uh, you know, even the children's book, there's always this heritage element. There's always, you know, some folklore that's, So, um, I, I think when I, I write it's,

Hidayah: for a purpose.

Hidayah: There's always like reasons.

Hidayah: So a lot of these books are very close to me. Like the book that Yai gave you Right. It began, uh, as a, uh, racist rant on Facebook. Where

Rachel: I'll just tell you what the book is called. It's called, Malay weddings don't cost 50 and other facts about, Malay culture.[00:11:00]

Hidayah: Yeah, so even, even this book, I mean, with the, the title was, uh, based on a racist rank rant on Facebook 2012 where somebody commented, uh, Oh, you know, Malay weddings are so noisy and cheap, you know, they are like hell in the void deck of HDB public housing in, you know, in the, we have like, uh, uh,

Hidayah: On the ground floor is open space.

Hidayah: So people have weddings and, uh, you know, and everybody was invited. So this, this particular woman, she was sleeping on the second floor on a Sunday afternoon. I mean, who 

Paula: at night

Paula: and playing

Hidayah: you know, and playing music. So, and then she put on Facebook, I didn't really.

Hidayah: Uh, I didn't really see the thread, but later I was somebody say, you better check your Facebook. There's this thread that goes on [00:12:00] and she was complaining. You say, Oh, why would people, you know, uh, get married for 50 and they shouldn't get married. Look, the divorce rate was, is even very high. You know, so it's all this, all this remarks, uh, and so I took, I took the

Rachel: She sounds like a better, bitter

Rachel: woman.

Rachel: A very

Hidayah: Oh, she's

Hidayah: now staying in Australia.

Paula: Oh, great.

Hidayah: So anyway, uh, she was actually a public service, uh, servant in Singapore and she was fired. from a job in the, in the union, because you know,

Hidayah: writing that thread. after writing Wow. It's like

Hidayah: inciting, uh, public, you know, uh, harmony and, uh, ethnic, you know, disrupt

Hidayah: Disharmony, yeah.

Hidayah: Yeah. So, and because of that, then I kind of like, okay, maybe I should write like, uh, stories about Malay culture. And one of the, of course, is pertaining to Malay weddings.

Paula: you know, and

Hidayah: and then I, you know, 

Paula: I just 

Hidayah: weddings [00:13:00] don't cost 50. I mean, we all know, no wedding costs 50.

Paula: but

Hidayah: just very cheeky.

Hidayah: So like you, you know, you said that why, uh, and all this, this books, any particular books that, so to me is every book is unique and very close to me. So I can't really say, but, but if I, if I had to like, So, if I have to pick one, it would be, of course, the first book, memories of a childhood because I think it started, uh, me on my own journey and I want to, uh, I wanted to share with everybody and of course, with a lot of things, right?

Hidayah: The first time you do something, it's there's always this special attachment. 

Paula: So, 

Hidayah: So, I would say maybe that one, the first

Rachel: Do you know what I love about your story so far is that you've faced these negative Impacts to your life and then you've produced something really beautiful from it And I think that's really really that shows a lot about your resilience, you [00:14:00] know, and that's really really really interesting I mean,

Hidayah: of course, of course, it came with a lot of hurt and anger,

Hidayah: and and

Hidayah: I said a lot of emotions, but, uh, but, you know, sometimes, hey, revenge is best served with an ISBN, right? I'm

Paula: I'm feeling like you're the

Rachel: I love it. I mean, she's

Paula: very successful.

Hidayah: I'm not

Paula: No, you're going to

Rachel: Well, yeah, I think you, you wanna, you won some awards, didn't you? Yeah.

Hidayah: I mean, uh, yeah, I won, uh, quite a number of awards. So the, the last, um, The last award, which I won three years ago, was the NUS Singapore History Prize. 

Paula: for 

Hidayah: for the book on Kampong

Rachel: Glam. NUS is the National University of Singapore.

Hidayah: So, again, you know, when I write about Kampong Glam, it's not to end the competition.

Hidayah: It's just that, uh, [00:15:00] because I, I was born and I grew up in a historic area and there wasn't any book about the historic area and I'm like, why?

Paula: Yeah,

Hidayah: You know, even if, even like Chinatown, you have a lot of books on Chinatown. Like, Even Little India, you even have, I've seen, uh, picture books. They're just a compilation of pictures.

Hidayah: You know, people take and there you have a book and a little bit of history. But no book on Kampong Glam and it is a gazetted historic quarter.

Paula: a big part of

Hidayah: Yes, and,

Rachel: and it's a beautiful area. I love going down there. It's really, it's really

Rachel: interesting. 

Hidayah: So, and I thought, you know what? I mean, I lived there, I grew up there, I should write. So I took it upon myself, it's like I'm, I'm paying homage to my, you know, the land where I was born in

Rachel: You're the cultural ambassador for

Hidayah: Glam, right?

Hidayah: So, so I, yeah Because to do, uh, like, [00:16:00] uh, the Kampong Glam book is basically a history book.

Hidayah: So,

Hidayah: but of course, it's the, the style of writing is, is also different, but I also wanted, uh, people with, not the non academics to pick it up and So when I wrote Kampong Glam, it's, it's to document the history of the place.

Hidayah: Of course, there's a lot of references, but also there's a lot of stories from people who lived around there. Yeah. So,

Hidayah: And I think, uh, because it is, it is, it is like a, um, a monumental book. And so when NUS, they have this and to me is okay. So when I was shortlisted, I was quite happy because I look at the rest.

Hidayah: Oh, all these professors,

Paula: family

Hidayah: Then my family were like, it's okay. You already won. You know, we don't have to even bother until like October when they announced. So to me, it was. Kind of a recognition of the [00:17:00] effort,

Rachel: I don't

Hidayah: don't do this, uh, like the professors, you know, they do it because they are supposed to write and do research, but it's not me.

Hidayah: I'm just doing it because of my pure love for, you

Rachel: know. Pure passion. Yeah, yeah. And I think that probably shows through in your work if you've won awards and things like that.

Rachel: Like, passion is always recognised and it's always lovely to speak to somebody who loves you. 

Hidayah: Yeah,

Hidayah: I mean, I'm sure you know, like, publishing, especially in Singapore, is really very tough, but I think, I mean, you're right, when you, you are in it, uh, for passion, and you have a certain objective, it kind of shows through in your books, you know, uh, and when people read, I, I always get very, I mean, I, I'm always I'm just happy to get feedback and then like even random people, they will come out and say, are you the one

Hidayah: who wrote 

Paula: wrote this

Hidayah: it was like, oh, all the hard work kind of pays off. So, you know, it's just this [00:18:00] appreciation and, and then, and you, you kind of like you're able to communicate certain messages readers, which you cannot get, uh, elsewhere. I mean, uh, like. Why I write mainly about the Malays because there isn't much written about about us and That's why I think it's also important that I'm kind of like contributing to Singapore's history.

Paula: going to say that. Yeah.

Rachel: say that. Yeah. Yeah. No, that I, I love it. I love it. What,

Paula: What, what, to go adult to children's 

Hidayah: Um,

Hidayah: okay. So that's also, uh, yeah, different stuff. So I have to, it's quite interesting. My journey, right? It's not a lot of people. We see, you know, she, she always does all these revenge books. They call it my revenge book or angry with the government, angry with, with somebody [00:19:00] who criticize about wedding. I should come up with this.

Hidayah: So I only wanted to just write one book. I mean, really, I just wanted to just do, uh, Gerong Kuning because, uh, you know, about like my family stories and then as an extension of Kampung

Hidayah: And then I was very happy and, uh, after I published, uh, Kampung, uh, Gerong Kuning book. So I actually left Singapore because, uh, I was, I was England.

Hidayah: And then when I came back. They cut down my mango tree

Paula: Oh no.

Hidayah: I'm like, why do you do that for?

Paula: Is this the house that you grew up in? Yes, the house that I grew up

Hidayah: I, and then I felt, wait, first you took my house, then you cut down my tree. What else do you want to take away from me? So I was very shocked. Why did you cut this? Okay.

Hidayah: In Singapore, we are very big on, uh, trees. If you can see it's a garden city, it is actually illegal for you to [00:20:00] cut Down any trees on the streets, even you were to plug the fruits and, you know, eat it is actually, uh, not, not right. Yeah. So you cannot eat this and offense to even cut out any tree. So they, okay.

Hidayah: Of course the house did not and there was this tree that was, uh, the seed was actually planted.

Paula: to 

Hidayah: commemorate 

Paula: my birth.Oh, that makes 

Rachel: Oh my goodness. That is,

Paula: Okay

Rachel: that is wow. That is really close.

Hidayah: my parents, they were married for many years and my mom, uh, couldn't like, she had miscarriages, so she couldn't carry a baby to full term. And then when, uh, Then she, you know, when I was finally born, the family was, of course, very happy and, of course, with, like, a Malay tradition, you know, you, you're very happy, you want to celebrate, right?

Hidayah: So, um, you know, so my grandmother planted a mango seed. in the [00:21:00] garden of the house. So the kind of like the mango grew as I grew. So and then it was a lovely tree with a lot of uh fruits and the fruits were shared with neighbors. So people call it

Hidayah: Pokok Mangga Cik Ida,

Hidayah: uh Cik Ida's mango tree. So everybody in the neighborhood knew that it was

Hidayah: it

Hidayah: was my tree and even the people.

Hidayah: You know, I mean, who later took over. They knew about this story because it was written. Yeah, they knew it because it was written in Gedung Kuning book, and there was also a picture of the tree, you know, and even one of the stories is called Cik Ida's Pokot Mango Tree.

Hidayah: So

Hidayah: have no excuse. Yeah, no excuse.

Hidayah: So

Rachel: when they cut, They can't say they didn't know because, yeah, everybody knew. Yeah, it's documented.

Hidayah: And I was very shocked. I mean, okay, not that I want to be very possessive of, of [00:22:00] like, uh, trees and stuff, but okay, even if you want to cut it down or you do not want this tree for whatever reason, why don't you just inform me? And then I

Rachel: find a new place for

Paula: take it. Yeah, you could put it somewhere else.

Rachel: else. That's, that's reality.

Hidayah: You know why, why don't, you know, we could, we could like transplant it somewhere in other people's garden or whatever, you know, but be you just chop it down and then you, you told me and say, oh, we have to cut it down because, uh, of Goodling roots. So then I'm like,

Rachel: sorry. Because of what?

Hidayah: Uh uh, the roots good old,

Hidayah: you know. 

Paula: the, yeah,

Hidayah: like.

Paula: like,

Hidayah: This is actually, uh, it is a way that trees stabilize themselves, you know, because maybe the area like

Rachel: they can't branch out.

Hidayah: They cannot branch out. So they just, you know, the rules kind of like, yeah. And they just use it as an excuse and give me this Alvarez report to justify.[00:23:00]

Hidayah: And then when I look at number one in the report, the tree is overall healthy.

Paula: Oh, okay. So there's no

Hidayah: And then number whatever. And then the, the roots and all that good, you know, uh, and then, uh, oh, in the long run, the tree will die.

Paula: I'm like,

Hidayah: like, we will also die in the long run. That doesn't mean you kill

Paula: kill people just 

Rachel: And 

Hidayah: know, so, and you look at Singapore and, and they said, oh, the, the tree, uh, you know, it would destroy the building, but look at Singapore.

Hidayah: We are surrounded by trees everywhere near buildings. Do they destroy, but of course there were some freak incident, you know, of like You know, the tree fell because of storm and all that, but that's not, that's not frequent.

Paula: Yeah.

Hidayah: So when, uh, when they cut down my, my tree, I was, of course, again, very angry. And then I thought, you know what, you know, I'm just like, This is my memory of my grandmother, you know, her love for me, you know, and nobody else in the [00:24:00] family got a tree but me.

Hidayah: So how could you even do that? So I thought, you know, okay, I'm just gonna write. So I wrote, uh, It's basically a gain to heal. Like I want to put down like everything, why my grandmother, uh, plant this tree and all that. So when, uh, of course it's a simple story about the mango tree, right? So I cannot write a novel.

Hidayah: So I thought, okay, children's book. Okay. Maybe do it like a children's book or something. Just call it a mango tree. So we should, wish I did. And of course, when the book. Uh, uh, was published. I give it to the people who cut down 

Paula: tree

Paula: As

Hidayah: revenge. And I know this is like, again, sweet revenge, right? So in 2015, uh, the mango tree got the best children's book award. Yeah. So 

Rachel: more

Paula: award to them as well.

Rachel: I know! I

Rachel: mean, you have flourished against adversity, to [00:25:00] be honest. Like, you've really, like, got your sweet revenge by writing these books and getting.

Hidayah: Yeah, again, it's not

Rachel: for them, but it does not replacing the drink. It's also

Hidayah: not done because I want to like take revenge. But it's because, you know, I thought, okay, you know, now the tree is gone. So I should like write down whatever memories I have of this tree.

Hidayah: At least not to, you know, for myself.

Rachel: And

Hidayah: then I thought, wait a minute. I have Halang books. You know, I remember I only wanted to publish one book and I thought, Hmm, maybe I can still revive and then I can publish this because nobody's going to publish a revenge book right in Singapore. It's like, Oh, so, okay, so I'll just publish it myself, you know, children's book.

Hidayah: So that then, uh. Again, after that, okay, nevermind, don't want to do anymore. The following year was the racist remark on

Paula: Facebook. And

Hidayah: again, I'm like, [00:26:00] oh my god. It's, it's not stopping me, is it? So, yeah, then it kind of like, roll over and roll over,

Hidayah: yeah. 

Paula: I promise you, we will be very nice to you and tread water 

Rachel: because 

Paula: I feel like there could be a Book on podcasters out here!

Hidayah: don't

Paula: no, I'm, I'm, I'm,

Hidayah: I'm quite

Paula: nice. Oh yeah,

Hidayah: believe 

Paula: I believe that, I believe that. So I guess that was my next question was then how did you become, go, go into publishing?

Hidayah: Uh, okay. So, like, uh, I was working as a producer before, so I, again, nothing literary. I didn't, you know, I didn't study, like, literature or

Rachel: Do you mean a producer for 

Hidayah: TV?

Hidayah: Uh, yes, for, for a media producer. So I didn't I mean, I wasn't, I mean, I was writing, but writing strips, not

Paula: like books.

Hidayah: So, uh, and then when I, I thought, Hey, you know, I, I wanted to do this, this [00:27:00] So I wrote the stories and then I sent it to a publisher. And so I waited for a year for rejection

Paula: and

Hidayah: and I was like, what?

Hidayah: And I, again, I asked, you know, I, I'm, I don't take rejection quite

Paula: We know that about you already.

Rachel: did she reject

Hidayah: reject this book? I mean, I have to give it to JK Rowling. You know, I don't think I can take like 13 rejection before acceptance. Right. Because I think I felt the urgency of, of the stories even before I wrote Good on cleaning that.

Hidayah: there, wasn't any book about the Malays written in English. There are books about, like, uh, Malays, uh, stories about the Malays written in Malay, but not so many. So I, so when I wrote it, I actually asked the publisher, Could you please share with me why you this book? Because, uh, it is, I [00:28:00] think it has historical value, it has merit.

Hidayah: And I don't think I'm a bad writer, you know? So I said, I just want to know so that I, so and, and he said, Oh, because this book has no commercial value. Then I'm like, what do you mean no commercial value?

Hidayah: And then again, I said, is it because it's about the Malays?

Rachel: Yeah.

Hidayah: You know, I, I just had to like give it. I'm like, why are you rejecting this book?

Rachel: And that's all we have time for today. Stay tuned next week. We'll find out why her book was rejected and many other little stories that I think you'll love. Stay tuned. Bye.